ne ni, sem biu nesposoben za karkoli ta vikend. Še zj mi šumi v glavi......
malo smeha
Mati je delala v kuhinji in je poslušala svojega 5-letnega sina, ki se
je igral v dnevni sobi s svojimi vlakci. Slišala je, kako se je vlak
ustavil in sina, ki je rekel:
"Vsi kreteni, ki so zdejle še not, naj se čimprej skidajo ven, jebemti,
tukaj je zadnja postaja!"
In:
"Tisti bedaki, ki mislijo iti s tem vlakom, naj spravijo svoje lene riti
not, ker zdejle gremo."
Mama čisto popeni in reče:
"Na tak način se ne boš pogovarjal v tej hiši, pojdi v svoji sobo za dve uri
in razmišljaj, kako bi to lahko bolje rekel in ko prideš nazaj nočem vec
slišati takih besed!"
Dve uri kasneje se sin spet igra z vlakom v dnevni in mama pozorno
posluša,kako sin reče:
"Dragi potniki, hvala, da ste potovali z nami, prosim, ne pozabite na
prtljago, upam, da boste kmalu spet potovali z nami."
In:
"Za tiste, ki so ravnokar vstopili: Dragi potniki dober dan, ta del je za
nekadilce, upam, da boste dobro potovali z nami."
V trenutku, ko se začne mama smejati, sliši:
"In če ste čist besni zaradi dve-urne zamude, ne mene jebat, ampak povejte uni pički v kuhinji!"
je igral v dnevni sobi s svojimi vlakci. Slišala je, kako se je vlak
ustavil in sina, ki je rekel:
"Vsi kreteni, ki so zdejle še not, naj se čimprej skidajo ven, jebemti,
tukaj je zadnja postaja!"
In:
"Tisti bedaki, ki mislijo iti s tem vlakom, naj spravijo svoje lene riti
not, ker zdejle gremo."
Mama čisto popeni in reče:
"Na tak način se ne boš pogovarjal v tej hiši, pojdi v svoji sobo za dve uri
in razmišljaj, kako bi to lahko bolje rekel in ko prideš nazaj nočem vec
slišati takih besed!"
Dve uri kasneje se sin spet igra z vlakom v dnevni in mama pozorno
posluša,kako sin reče:
"Dragi potniki, hvala, da ste potovali z nami, prosim, ne pozabite na
prtljago, upam, da boste kmalu spet potovali z nami."
In:
"Za tiste, ki so ravnokar vstopili: Dragi potniki dober dan, ta del je za
nekadilce, upam, da boste dobro potovali z nami."
V trenutku, ko se začne mama smejati, sliši:
"In če ste čist besni zaradi dve-urne zamude, ne mene jebat, ampak povejte uni pički v kuhinji!"
lp zuki
ta je pa hud
Nekje v Ameriki so v enem trgovskem velecentru, ki je prodajal vse živo,
zaposlili novega prodajalca. Šef mu je rekel, da bo najprej en teden
poskusno in če se bo izkazal, ga bodo vzeli za stalno. Ko gre šef čez eno
uro na obhod, vidi, da ima tale novi prodajalec stranko. Diskretno se
približa in posluša.
"Gospod, tale ribiška palica je vrhunski izdelek. Z njo boste ulovili same
kapitalne ribe."
"Vzel jo bom!"
"Kaj pa vabe imate?"
"Ne."
"Potem vam priporočam tole torbo v kateri imate vabe za vse vrste rib."
"Vzamem!"
"Kaj pa škornji?"
"Nimam"
"glejte tele škornje, kot bi bili narejeni samo za vas!"
"Vzamem!"
Potem mu je prodal še brezrokavnik, pa klobuk, pa torbo za malico, pa
mrežo......
"Kaj pa čoln imate?"
"Ne..."
"Poglejte tega lepotca. Z njim se lahko peljete na sredo jezera in tam
popolnoma v miru lovite."
"Vzamem."
Kakšen avto vozite?"
"Corvetto...."
"Jooj, s športnim avtom pa ja ne boste čolna vlekli.... Glejte tega Jeepa z
V8 mašino. Z njim boste brez problema vlekli čoln tudi po najslabšem terenu"
Možakar je navdušen in tudi Jeepa kupi brez obotavljanja. Ko odide, šef
presrečen skoči izza polic in vzklikne:
"Pa vi ste genij! Človek pride po ribiško palico, vi pa mu še kup opreme, pa
čoln in Jeepa prodate! Česa takega pa še nisem videl!"
"Gospod šef, ne bo čisto držalo, tip ni prišel po ribiško palico, pač pa po
tampone za svojo ženo, pa sem mu rekel, da če že ne bo seksal čez vikend,
naj gre vsaj ribe lovit...."
zaposlili novega prodajalca. Šef mu je rekel, da bo najprej en teden
poskusno in če se bo izkazal, ga bodo vzeli za stalno. Ko gre šef čez eno
uro na obhod, vidi, da ima tale novi prodajalec stranko. Diskretno se
približa in posluša.
"Gospod, tale ribiška palica je vrhunski izdelek. Z njo boste ulovili same
kapitalne ribe."
"Vzel jo bom!"
"Kaj pa vabe imate?"
"Ne."
"Potem vam priporočam tole torbo v kateri imate vabe za vse vrste rib."
"Vzamem!"
"Kaj pa škornji?"
"Nimam"
"glejte tele škornje, kot bi bili narejeni samo za vas!"
"Vzamem!"
Potem mu je prodal še brezrokavnik, pa klobuk, pa torbo za malico, pa
mrežo......
"Kaj pa čoln imate?"
"Ne..."
"Poglejte tega lepotca. Z njim se lahko peljete na sredo jezera in tam
popolnoma v miru lovite."
"Vzamem."
Kakšen avto vozite?"
"Corvetto...."
"Jooj, s športnim avtom pa ja ne boste čolna vlekli.... Glejte tega Jeepa z
V8 mašino. Z njim boste brez problema vlekli čoln tudi po najslabšem terenu"
Možakar je navdušen in tudi Jeepa kupi brez obotavljanja. Ko odide, šef
presrečen skoči izza polic in vzklikne:
"Pa vi ste genij! Človek pride po ribiško palico, vi pa mu še kup opreme, pa
čoln in Jeepa prodate! Česa takega pa še nisem videl!"
"Gospod šef, ne bo čisto držalo, tip ni prišel po ribiško palico, pač pa po
tampone za svojo ženo, pa sem mu rekel, da če že ne bo seksal čez vikend,
naj gre vsaj ribe lovit...."
Novo! Dodan je sedmi sklon.
> Slovenisti so na zadnjem kongresu sprejeli spremembo slovenskih
> sklanjatev oziroma njihovo dopolnitev. Soglasno je dodan nov, sedmi sklon.
>
> Skupaj obnovimo znanje:
>
> 1. sklon - imenovalnik (nominativ)
> 2. sklon - rodilnik (genitiv)
> 3. sklon - dajalnik (dativ)
> 4. sklon - tožilnik (akuzativ)
> 5. sklon - mestnik (lokativ)
> 6. sklon - orodnik (instrumental)
>
> in - nov, sedmi sklon:
>
> 7. sklon - fužilnik (čefurativ)
>
> Primeri uporabe:
>
> Suad, pejt kosilat.
>
> Slađana, neh se kolesat.
>
> Fikreta, ajd poklič Dževada, da bosta grela v trgovinu.
> Slovenisti so na zadnjem kongresu sprejeli spremembo slovenskih
> sklanjatev oziroma njihovo dopolnitev. Soglasno je dodan nov, sedmi sklon.
>
> Skupaj obnovimo znanje:
>
> 1. sklon - imenovalnik (nominativ)
> 2. sklon - rodilnik (genitiv)
> 3. sklon - dajalnik (dativ)
> 4. sklon - tožilnik (akuzativ)
> 5. sklon - mestnik (lokativ)
> 6. sklon - orodnik (instrumental)
>
> in - nov, sedmi sklon:
>
> 7. sklon - fužilnik (čefurativ)
>
> Primeri uporabe:
>
> Suad, pejt kosilat.
>
> Slađana, neh se kolesat.
>
> Fikreta, ajd poklič Dževada, da bosta grela v trgovinu.
Starcek pri 80-tih obnavlja vozniski izpit. Sorodstvo pristojne
prosi,naj mu vozniskega dovoljenja ne podaljsajo.
Naslednji dan se odpravi starcek na ustanovo, kjer mu zacne instruktor
postavljati dvomljiva vprasanja, da bi ga zmedel.
Prvo vprasanje: "Ce prihaja proti vam ponoci majhna lucka, kaj
mislite, da je to?"
Starcek: "Bicikel, seveda!"
"To sem razumel! Katere znamke ... Atala, Rog, Bianchi .....itd.?"
Starcek: "Res ne bi vedel!"
Drugo vprasanje :"Ce vidite dve luci, ki se vam priblizujeta, kaj naj bi bilo?"
"Avto!" ustreli starcek.
"Sem razumel ... ampak, kateri ... Fiat, BMW, Audi ...?"
"Mah ... ne bi vedel!"
Tretje vprasanje:"Kaj pa, ce vidite dve veliki luci, ki se vam priblizujeta?"
"To vem. To je kamijon!"
"Ja, ja ! To je logicno ... ampak, kateri ... Scania, Mercedes, Iveco ...?"
"Eh, ne vem!"
"Zal mi je: Ne morem vam obnovit vozniskega!"
Ko starcek razocaran zapusca sobo, se obrne in vprasa: "Oprostite gospod!
Vi, ko greste ponoci ven in na vogalu pod svetilko zagledate na pol golo
osebo, ki maha s torbico okrog sebe ..... kaj naj bi bilo to po vase?"
"Ja, kurba...logicno!"
Starcek: "Sem razumel, ... ampak, kdo ... vasa zena, vasa mati ali vasa hci?"
prosi,naj mu vozniskega dovoljenja ne podaljsajo.
Naslednji dan se odpravi starcek na ustanovo, kjer mu zacne instruktor
postavljati dvomljiva vprasanja, da bi ga zmedel.
Prvo vprasanje: "Ce prihaja proti vam ponoci majhna lucka, kaj
mislite, da je to?"
Starcek: "Bicikel, seveda!"
"To sem razumel! Katere znamke ... Atala, Rog, Bianchi .....itd.?"
Starcek: "Res ne bi vedel!"
Drugo vprasanje :"Ce vidite dve luci, ki se vam priblizujeta, kaj naj bi bilo?"
"Avto!" ustreli starcek.
"Sem razumel ... ampak, kateri ... Fiat, BMW, Audi ...?"
"Mah ... ne bi vedel!"
Tretje vprasanje:"Kaj pa, ce vidite dve veliki luci, ki se vam priblizujeta?"
"To vem. To je kamijon!"
"Ja, ja ! To je logicno ... ampak, kateri ... Scania, Mercedes, Iveco ...?"
"Eh, ne vem!"
"Zal mi je: Ne morem vam obnovit vozniskega!"
Ko starcek razocaran zapusca sobo, se obrne in vprasa: "Oprostite gospod!
Vi, ko greste ponoci ven in na vogalu pod svetilko zagledate na pol golo
osebo, ki maha s torbico okrog sebe ..... kaj naj bi bilo to po vase?"
"Ja, kurba...logicno!"
Starcek: "Sem razumel, ... ampak, kdo ... vasa zena, vasa mati ali vasa hci?"
> Oglašam se vam prvič, ker bi želel vaš odgovor na
> mojo hudo osebno travmo, ki me preganja. Živim namreč že nekaj let s
> punco, ki jo zelo ljubim in zadnje čase imam občutek, da me vara. Ne
> odgovarja mi
> na GSM, veliko hodi naokrog s prijateljicami in ko jo
> vprašam s katerimi, so to vedno ali sodelavke ali pa osebe, ki jih ne
> poznam. Domov večkrat prihaja pozno ponoči in taxija, s katerim naj
> bi
> se pripeljala, nikoli ne vidim, čeprav slišim motor od avta, ona
> pa vedno zadnje metre pride peš. Veliko ji zvoni telefon in če se
> oglasim jaz, se na drugi strani veza prekine. Pred dnevi sem vzel v
> roke njen telefon, da bi pogledal, koliko je ura, ona pa se je zelo
> močno razburila, češ da posegam v njeno privatnost, zato sem se
> odločil,
> da končno pridem zadevi do dna. Včeraj zvečer je šla zopet ven
> prijateljicami in odločil sem se, da jo ob prihodu nekje skrit
> počakam in preverim, kako in s kom se bo ponoči pripeljala domov.
> Skril sem se za svoj avto in ko sem tako nekaj časa čepel,
>
> sem opazil, da se je na zadnjem blatniku na več koncih pojavila rja.
> Zdaj pa me zanima, kako naj to odstranim ali naj jo premažem s
> silikonom ali naj zamenjam blatnik, da se ne bo rja širila še
> drugam?? Zahvaljujem se za vaš čimprejšnji odgovor.
> mojo hudo osebno travmo, ki me preganja. Živim namreč že nekaj let s
> punco, ki jo zelo ljubim in zadnje čase imam občutek, da me vara. Ne
> odgovarja mi
> na GSM, veliko hodi naokrog s prijateljicami in ko jo
> vprašam s katerimi, so to vedno ali sodelavke ali pa osebe, ki jih ne
> poznam. Domov večkrat prihaja pozno ponoči in taxija, s katerim naj
> bi
> se pripeljala, nikoli ne vidim, čeprav slišim motor od avta, ona
> pa vedno zadnje metre pride peš. Veliko ji zvoni telefon in če se
> oglasim jaz, se na drugi strani veza prekine. Pred dnevi sem vzel v
> roke njen telefon, da bi pogledal, koliko je ura, ona pa se je zelo
> močno razburila, češ da posegam v njeno privatnost, zato sem se
> odločil,
> da končno pridem zadevi do dna. Včeraj zvečer je šla zopet ven
> prijateljicami in odločil sem se, da jo ob prihodu nekje skrit
> počakam in preverim, kako in s kom se bo ponoči pripeljala domov.
> Skril sem se za svoj avto in ko sem tako nekaj časa čepel,
>
> sem opazil, da se je na zadnjem blatniku na več koncih pojavila rja.
> Zdaj pa me zanima, kako naj to odstranim ali naj jo premažem s
> silikonom ali naj zamenjam blatnik, da se ne bo rja širila še
> drugam?? Zahvaljujem se za vaš čimprejšnji odgovor.
Pinzgauer. Nothing else.
Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.
No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: "knowing when to come in out of the rain";
"why the early bird gets the worm"; "life isn't always fair"; and "maybe it was my fault".
- Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
- His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
- Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
- It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
- Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
- Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
- Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers: I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.
No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: "knowing when to come in out of the rain";
"why the early bird gets the worm"; "life isn't always fair"; and "maybe it was my fault".
- Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
- His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
- Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
- It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
- Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
- Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
- Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers: I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
The following are all replies that British women have put on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details. These are genuine excerpts from the forms:
01. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins; child A was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.
02. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.
03. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 Grand Avenue, where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father can you send me his phone number? Thanks.
04. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.
05. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again.
06. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad, as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the British economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.
07. I do not know who the father of my child was as all squaddies look the same to me. I can confirm that he was a Royal Green Jacket.
08. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?
09. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Euro Disney maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.
10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilized.
11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby; after all when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.
01. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins; child A was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.
02. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.
03. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 Grand Avenue, where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father can you send me his phone number? Thanks.
04. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.
05. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again.
06. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad, as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the British economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.
07. I do not know who the father of my child was as all squaddies look the same to me. I can confirm that he was a Royal Green Jacket.
08. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?
09. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Euro Disney maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.
10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilized.
11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby; after all when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.
Prošla si kroz moje srce...KO KRAVA kroz kukuruz
Neki piju od sreće, neki od tuge, a mi pijemo od jutra!
ZNAM DA ALKOHOL ŠKODI AL UTEHE NEMA U VODI!
Dobar pasulj daleko se cuje
KO DRUGOME SKOLU GRADI NEK SAM U NjU IDE!!!
Covek pije da zaboravi,ali nikada ne zaboravi da pije
Dupe zenu krasi, a tortu orasi!!!
Zasto taste ne idu u Raj? Jer vestice ne lete iznad 300 m
Samar nije nista drugo do odgovor iz prve ruke!
PRODAJEM KUCU NA KLIZISTU! ZA MESEC DANA CE BITI U UZEM CENTRU GRADA...
za leprsav hod i sjaj u ocima,koristite kozmetiku HEINEKEN
Toliko si RUZAN da kada bacish BOOMERANG on nece da se VRATI
Ne volim ljude koji uzimaju drogu, posebno granicare.
Zašto bi se izlagali mamurluku? Ostanite pijani.
Stranger in the night, sida in the morning!
ŽIVI SVAKI DAN KAO DA TI JE POSLEDNJI.....JEDNOG DANA BIĆEŠ U PRAVU!
radim na crno, trošim na belo!
kad ti nisi pored mene nisu mi sve ovce na broju
vrhunac shpanske serije je kada Federiko sazna da je sam sebi keva...
gde ste ribe primio sam platu!
sta su rekli amerikanci kad su videli Mariju Serifovic.....'uuuu al smo ih bombardovali'
Kad sin liči na oca onda je to genetski a kada liči na komšiju onda je to uticaj okoline!
Privela me murija u stanicu,i ubili su Boga u meni. Sada sam ateista.
KADA SAM UMRO MOJI I DAN DANAS PATE JER SAM PRE SMRTI DIGO KREDIT A ONI OTPLACUJU RATE!
Necu zvaku... Ocu svoj kusur!
Bolje ćutati i biti smatran budalom, nego progovoriti i otkloniti svaku sumnju.
DA BOG DA TI SIN DOVEO ZETA U KUCU!!!!!!
Bolje sest sati u skoli nego ne spavati uopste
Ne volim mitinge, tu najbolja mesta uvek zauzme policija
U raju je lepo...al u paklu je ekipa!!!
Od skole jos niko nije umro,ali ne treba rizikovati
Ako se udaris u glavu neces sepati
Ako je Vojvođanska banka VOBAN, kako bi se zvala Zaječarska banka, a kako Sjenička banka?
Neki piju od sreće, neki od tuge, a mi pijemo od jutra!
ZNAM DA ALKOHOL ŠKODI AL UTEHE NEMA U VODI!
Dobar pasulj daleko se cuje
KO DRUGOME SKOLU GRADI NEK SAM U NjU IDE!!!
Covek pije da zaboravi,ali nikada ne zaboravi da pije
Dupe zenu krasi, a tortu orasi!!!
Zasto taste ne idu u Raj? Jer vestice ne lete iznad 300 m
Samar nije nista drugo do odgovor iz prve ruke!
PRODAJEM KUCU NA KLIZISTU! ZA MESEC DANA CE BITI U UZEM CENTRU GRADA...
za leprsav hod i sjaj u ocima,koristite kozmetiku HEINEKEN
Toliko si RUZAN da kada bacish BOOMERANG on nece da se VRATI
Ne volim ljude koji uzimaju drogu, posebno granicare.
Zašto bi se izlagali mamurluku? Ostanite pijani.
Stranger in the night, sida in the morning!
ŽIVI SVAKI DAN KAO DA TI JE POSLEDNJI.....JEDNOG DANA BIĆEŠ U PRAVU!
radim na crno, trošim na belo!
kad ti nisi pored mene nisu mi sve ovce na broju
vrhunac shpanske serije je kada Federiko sazna da je sam sebi keva...
gde ste ribe primio sam platu!
sta su rekli amerikanci kad su videli Mariju Serifovic.....'uuuu al smo ih bombardovali'
Kad sin liči na oca onda je to genetski a kada liči na komšiju onda je to uticaj okoline!
Privela me murija u stanicu,i ubili su Boga u meni. Sada sam ateista.
KADA SAM UMRO MOJI I DAN DANAS PATE JER SAM PRE SMRTI DIGO KREDIT A ONI OTPLACUJU RATE!
Necu zvaku... Ocu svoj kusur!
Bolje ćutati i biti smatran budalom, nego progovoriti i otkloniti svaku sumnju.
DA BOG DA TI SIN DOVEO ZETA U KUCU!!!!!!
Bolje sest sati u skoli nego ne spavati uopste
Ne volim mitinge, tu najbolja mesta uvek zauzme policija
U raju je lepo...al u paklu je ekipa!!!
Od skole jos niko nije umro,ali ne treba rizikovati
Ako se udaris u glavu neces sepati
Ako je Vojvođanska banka VOBAN, kako bi se zvala Zaječarska banka, a kako Sjenička banka?
Ulazi pilot u putnicku kabinu aviona i obraca se putnicima:
''Postovani putnici, jedan motor nam je crko, a drugi radi na 30% snage. Vec smo poizbacivali sav teret, ali to nije dovoljno. Da bi uspeli da sletimo na najblizi aerodrom moracemo zrtvovati dio putnika. Necemo nikoga diskriminisati na osnovi boje koze, nacionalne pripadnosti ili sexualne orijentacije. Stoga moramo biti pravedni i ici prema abecedi. Prema izlaznim vratima neka se odmah upute: albanci, arapi, bisexualci, bosnjaci, cigani, crnci, homosexualci ... mislim da ce to biti sasvim dovoljno''
''Postovani putnici, jedan motor nam je crko, a drugi radi na 30% snage. Vec smo poizbacivali sav teret, ali to nije dovoljno. Da bi uspeli da sletimo na najblizi aerodrom moracemo zrtvovati dio putnika. Necemo nikoga diskriminisati na osnovi boje koze, nacionalne pripadnosti ili sexualne orijentacije. Stoga moramo biti pravedni i ici prema abecedi. Prema izlaznim vratima neka se odmah upute: albanci, arapi, bisexualci, bosnjaci, cigani, crnci, homosexualci ... mislim da ce to biti sasvim dovoljno''
Pridejo študentje fizike na izpit.
Uleti prvi študent notr in profesor takoj postavi vprašanje.
> Se pelješ z vlakom in na enkret ti postane vroče, kaj boš naredil!?
> Ja okno bom odpru!
> Vredu! Zdaj mi povej! Vlak se pelje z 90km na uro, okno je veliko 80X30 cm, kupe ima 18m/3, zunanja temp je 24 stopinj, notrnja pa 32. V kolkšnem šasu se bo ohladil kupe na isto temp?
> nima pojma in odleti
Ko pride ven hitro razloži sotrpinom nalogo!
Uleti naslednji notr.
>Se pelješ z vlakom in na enkrat ti postane vroče kaj boš naredil?
> Sleku bom jakno!
> In tebi je še vedno vroče!
> Bom sleku še majico!
> In tebi je če vedno vroče!
> Bom sleku pa še hlače!!!
> Ja pa v kupeju je zraven tebe še pet pedrov!?
> Ja veste kaj! Tudi če me vsi pof... jest okna že ne bom odpru!!!
Uleti prvi študent notr in profesor takoj postavi vprašanje.
> Se pelješ z vlakom in na enkret ti postane vroče, kaj boš naredil!?
> Ja okno bom odpru!
> Vredu! Zdaj mi povej! Vlak se pelje z 90km na uro, okno je veliko 80X30 cm, kupe ima 18m/3, zunanja temp je 24 stopinj, notrnja pa 32. V kolkšnem šasu se bo ohladil kupe na isto temp?
> nima pojma in odleti
Ko pride ven hitro razloži sotrpinom nalogo!
Uleti naslednji notr.
>Se pelješ z vlakom in na enkrat ti postane vroče kaj boš naredil?
> Sleku bom jakno!
> In tebi je še vedno vroče!
> Bom sleku še majico!
> In tebi je če vedno vroče!
> Bom sleku pa še hlače!!!
> Ja pa v kupeju je zraven tebe še pet pedrov!?
> Ja veste kaj! Tudi če me vsi pof... jest okna že ne bom odpru!!!
LP by Jereb
Nič ni narobe, če študent ne opravi letnika, saj ima eno leto
samo 365 dni ...
1. NEDELJE - 52 nedelj na leto. Saj veste, da je nedelja za počivanje.
Ostane 313 dni.
2. POLETNE POČITNICE - 50 dni, ko je res preveč vroče, da bi se lahko učili.
Ostane 263 dni.
3. 8 UR SPANJA DNEVNO - 130 dni spet gre ...
Ostane 141 dni.
4. 1 URA DNEVNO ZA IGRANJE, saj moramo vsi ohranjati otroka v sebi. To
pomeni 15 dni.
Ostane 126 dni.
5. 2 URI NA DAN ZA PITJE IN PREHRANJEVANJE, kajti hrano je potrebno počasi
in dobro prežvečiti, kar je pomembno za zdravje. To pomeni 30 dni.
Ostane 96 dni.
6. 1 URA NA DAN ZA POGOVARJANJE (človek je vendar socialno bitje), kar
pomeni 15 dni.
Ostane 81 dni.
7. DNEVI IZPITOV. Na leto je to najmanj 35 dni.
Ostane 46 dni.
8. DNEVI ZABAVE, kajti potrebno se je tudi družiti - 40 dni.
Ostane 6 dni.
9. ZA BOLEZEN gre najmanj 3 dni.
Ostanejo 3-je dnevi.
10. FILMI IN NADALJEVANKE TER SEVEDA POUČNE ODDAJE - najmanj 2 dni.
Ostane 1 dan.
11. Ta 1 dan pa je TVOJ ROJSTNI DAN. Kako naj študiramo na ta
dan????!!!!!
Ostane 0 dni.
*Kako naj torej študent opravi letnik???*
samo 365 dni ...
1. NEDELJE - 52 nedelj na leto. Saj veste, da je nedelja za počivanje.
Ostane 313 dni.
2. POLETNE POČITNICE - 50 dni, ko je res preveč vroče, da bi se lahko učili.
Ostane 263 dni.
3. 8 UR SPANJA DNEVNO - 130 dni spet gre ...
Ostane 141 dni.
4. 1 URA DNEVNO ZA IGRANJE, saj moramo vsi ohranjati otroka v sebi. To
pomeni 15 dni.
Ostane 126 dni.
5. 2 URI NA DAN ZA PITJE IN PREHRANJEVANJE, kajti hrano je potrebno počasi
in dobro prežvečiti, kar je pomembno za zdravje. To pomeni 30 dni.
Ostane 96 dni.
6. 1 URA NA DAN ZA POGOVARJANJE (človek je vendar socialno bitje), kar
pomeni 15 dni.
Ostane 81 dni.
7. DNEVI IZPITOV. Na leto je to najmanj 35 dni.
Ostane 46 dni.
8. DNEVI ZABAVE, kajti potrebno se je tudi družiti - 40 dni.
Ostane 6 dni.
9. ZA BOLEZEN gre najmanj 3 dni.
Ostanejo 3-je dnevi.
10. FILMI IN NADALJEVANKE TER SEVEDA POUČNE ODDAJE - najmanj 2 dni.
Ostane 1 dan.
11. Ta 1 dan pa je TVOJ ROJSTNI DAN. Kako naj študiramo na ta
dan????!!!!!
Ostane 0 dni.
*Kako naj torej študent opravi letnik???*
Pinzgauer. Nothing else.
Kdo je na strani
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