Objavljeno: Ne Jul 23, 2006 4:35 pm
Ne glede na reklame spodaj, tega ne bom izbrisal
Miran
Miran
Ta je res dobra, zato sem zbrisal le reklame.
LP
Off Road Forum
...drvimo v pesku, blatu ali snegu, po ravnem al' pa bregu...
https://nivaoffroadteam.rafter.si/forum/
The Correct Way to Come Home Drunk
https://nivaoffroadteam.rafter.si/forum/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=3076
Stran 1 od 2
Objavljeno: Ne Jul 23, 2006 8:19 pm
Objavljeno: Ne Jul 23, 2006 10:26 pm
Tevi boti so zmirej bolj duhoviti.
Objavljeno: Če Avg 03, 2006 1:10 pm
Da ne bodo ti vsilivci imeli 1000 tem bom en "njihov" prispevek prinesel sem, ker je dober...
P.S. zanimivo, tematika moški-ženske vedno pali
___________________________________________________________
Quick, Get me a beer!
A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts.”
The wife sighs and gets him a beer.
Fifteen minutes later, the man says, “Get me another beer before it starts.”
She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him.
He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, “Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute.”
The wife is furious. She yells at him, “Is that all you're going to do tonight?
Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You’re nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore…”
The man sighs and says, “It’s started…”
___________________________________________________
LP
P.S. zanimivo, tematika moški-ženske vedno pali
___________________________________________________________
Quick, Get me a beer!
A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts.”
The wife sighs and gets him a beer.
Fifteen minutes later, the man says, “Get me another beer before it starts.”
She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him.
He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, “Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute.”
The wife is furious. She yells at him, “Is that all you're going to do tonight?
Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You’re nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore…”
The man sighs and says, “It’s started…”
___________________________________________________
LP
Objavljeno: Pe Avg 11, 2006 12:45 pm
tale mi je osstal od današnjega brisanja:
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
LnasmejamP Miran
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
LnasmejamP Miran
Objavljeno: Pe Avg 11, 2006 11:40 pm
Tudi mojim letom primernih jim ne zmanjka:
An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, "I have a dead pussy."
The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common."
L
P Miran
An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, "I have a dead pussy."
The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common."
L
P MiranObjavljeno: So Avg 12, 2006 4:39 am
miran napisal/-a:Tudi mojim letom primernih jim ne zmanjka:
An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, "I have a dead pussy."
The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common."
L
Svinjska roba.
Objavljeno: Sr Avg 23, 2006 11:23 pm
Tega sem pa danes pobral in pobrisal reklame:
A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red 'H' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue 'Y' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green 'M' on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor. "No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin, Why do you ask?"
A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red 'H' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue 'Y' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green 'M' on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor. "No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin, Why do you ask?"
Objavljeno: Če Avg 24, 2006 7:22 pm
miran napisal/-a:Tega sem pa danes pobral in pobrisal reklame:
A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red 'H' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue 'Y' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green 'M' on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor. "No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin, Why do you ask?"
Objavljeno: Pe Avg 25, 2006 7:44 am
Zelo dobro. 
Objavljeno: Po Avg 28, 2006 4:02 pm
Če smo že pri vicih, tega sem zasledil na nekem forumu:
Z vlakom so se peljali Nemec, Argentinec, starejša gospa in ženska s
hudičevo dobrim oprsjem. Vsi štirje so sedeli v kupeju.
Kmalu je vlak prišel v tunel in vse se je stemnilo. Sredi tunela se je v kupeju zaslišal močen "plaf".
Ko je vlak pripeljal iz predora, je imel Nemec odtis vseh petih
prstov na obrazu.
Nemec je razmišljal: "Argentinec je poskusil gospodično
prijeti za prsi, ta pa se je zmotila in me klofnila."
Starejša ženska razmišlja: "Nemec je prijel mladenko za joške, ta pa ga je užaljeno mahnila po obrazu."
Prsata mlada gospodična: "Nemec se me je hotel dotakniti in je
pomotoma prijel ta staro, ta pa mu je užaljena prisolila klofuto."
Argentinec: "Ko bo nov predor, bom spet primazal eno okrog ušes temu
kurčevemu Nemcu, ki nas je izključil s svetovnega prvenstva."
LP
Z vlakom so se peljali Nemec, Argentinec, starejša gospa in ženska s
hudičevo dobrim oprsjem. Vsi štirje so sedeli v kupeju.
Kmalu je vlak prišel v tunel in vse se je stemnilo. Sredi tunela se je v kupeju zaslišal močen "plaf".
Ko je vlak pripeljal iz predora, je imel Nemec odtis vseh petih
prstov na obrazu.
Nemec je razmišljal: "Argentinec je poskusil gospodično
prijeti za prsi, ta pa se je zmotila in me klofnila."
Starejša ženska razmišlja: "Nemec je prijel mladenko za joške, ta pa ga je užaljeno mahnila po obrazu."
Prsata mlada gospodična: "Nemec se me je hotel dotakniti in je
pomotoma prijel ta staro, ta pa mu je užaljena prisolila klofuto."
Argentinec: "Ko bo nov predor, bom spet primazal eno okrog ušes temu
kurčevemu Nemcu, ki nas je izključil s svetovnega prvenstva."
LP
Objavljeno: Po Avg 28, 2006 4:09 pm
Katera žival se po smrti še najmanj 300 krat obrne???
Odojek!!!
Odojek!!!
Objavljeno: Po Avg 28, 2006 6:28 pm
Nebivedu napisal/-a:Katera žival se po smrti še najmanj 300 krat obrne???
Odojek!!!
Objavljeno: To Avg 29, 2006 6:20 am
Tale je pa od danes ostal:
An older couple were lying in bed one night.
The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.
She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting. "Wearily he reached across,
held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said:
"Then you used to kiss me". Mildly irritated, he reached across,
gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep. Thirty seconds later she said:
"Then you used to bite my neck." Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.
"Where are you going?" she asked. "To get my teeth!"
Miran
An older couple were lying in bed one night.
The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.
She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting. "Wearily he reached across,
held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said:
"Then you used to kiss me". Mildly irritated, he reached across,
gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep. Thirty seconds later she said:
"Then you used to bite my neck." Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.
"Where are you going?" she asked. "To get my teeth!"
MiranObjavljeno: Sr Avg 30, 2006 9:33 pm
Da se še jaz vpišem med strelce; Tale je iz naših logov...
Anketar sprašuje cigana:
A: kakšna je vaša najljubša barva?
C: karirasta, šefe!
A: kaj pa pijača?
C: ammm... pa daj eno pivo!
Anketar sprašuje cigana:
A: kakšna je vaša najljubša barva?
C: karirasta, šefe!
A: kaj pa pijača?
C: ammm... pa daj eno pivo!
Objavljeno: Sr Avg 30, 2006 11:33 pm
Neki vaški posebnež je imel makino, lepo vzdrževano, okrašeno s kupom pliša na zadnji šajbi, lisičjim repkom na antenci, dvema rdečima kockicama na vzvratnem špegelcu, dvema meglenkama na odbijaču in nalepko na zadnji havbi z napisom " turbo diesel gti 4x4". V oglasniku zagleda oglas za dodatno montažo električnih stekelc in glej ga junaka, čez teden dni se v sončnem vremenu vozi po vaških cestah in bzzz šajbe dol, bzzz šajbe gor.
Zagleda brkho štoparko v miniki za cesto.
Se ustavi in bzzzz, šajbo dol.
Štoparka pogleda not in reče: A gressss..
Naš junak pa bzzzz, šajbo gor, da ji pripre vrat. Počasi odpre svoja vrata, gre do štoparke in jo lepo nabriše od uzadi. Z zadovoljnim nasmehom in zobotrebcem za zobmi se vsede nazaj za volan. Pritisne gumb in bzzzz, šajbo dol.
Zatem pa izjavi: Smo mi šoferji iznajdlivi, a bejbi !?!
Ona pa mu lepo z užitkom odgovori: Pa mi homoseksualci tud, srček !!!
Zagleda brkho štoparko v miniki za cesto.
Se ustavi in bzzzz, šajbo dol.
Štoparka pogleda not in reče: A gressss..
Naš junak pa bzzzz, šajbo gor, da ji pripre vrat. Počasi odpre svoja vrata, gre do štoparke in jo lepo nabriše od uzadi. Z zadovoljnim nasmehom in zobotrebcem za zobmi se vsede nazaj za volan. Pritisne gumb in bzzzz, šajbo dol.
Zatem pa izjavi: Smo mi šoferji iznajdlivi, a bejbi !?!
Ona pa mu lepo z užitkom odgovori: Pa mi homoseksualci tud, srček !!!
Objavljeno: Če Avg 31, 2006 8:59 am
sedita fant in punca na parkirišču v avtu..zmenek..tišina..tema..napeto ozračje
fant ne ve kako bi začel pogovor in ustreli punci:
"kaj ti misliš o tej situaciji v iraku?"
ona:" ma j.e.b.e mi se"
on:" meni tudi,ma nisem vedu kako te vprašat"
)
fant ne ve kako bi začel pogovor in ustreli punci:
"kaj ti misliš o tej situaciji v iraku?"
ona:" ma j.e.b.e mi se"
on:" meni tudi,ma nisem vedu kako te vprašat"
)Objavljeno: Če Avg 31, 2006 8:59 am
Tatoo
Pride prostitutka k tattoo mojstru. Ker pa je imela izjemno rada praznike mu veli, da ji na levo stegno vtetovira "Srecno Novo leto", na desno pa "Vesele bozicne praznike."
Ko mojster konca mu rece:
"Najlepsa hvala, gospod mojster, pa obiscite me kaj med prazniki!"
Pride prostitutka k tattoo mojstru. Ker pa je imela izjemno rada praznike mu veli, da ji na levo stegno vtetovira "Srecno Novo leto", na desno pa "Vesele bozicne praznike."
Ko mojster konca mu rece:
"Najlepsa hvala, gospod mojster, pa obiscite me kaj med prazniki!"
Objavljeno: Če Avg 31, 2006 9:00 am
Crnogorac sjedi na konju a zena mu vodi konja. Upita ga komsija:
- "Jado, kuda idjes?"
- "Evo vodim zenu kod doktora!"
- "Jado, kuda idjes?"
- "Evo vodim zenu kod doktora!"
Objavljeno: Če Avg 31, 2006 9:00 am
Aids
Natepava en fant eno blondinko, pa ga blondinka vpraša:
"Saj menda ja nimaš aidsa?"
Pa pravi fant: "Seveda ne!"
Pa reče blondinka: "Uf, hvala bogu, res ga ne bi rada še enkrat dobila..."
Natepava en fant eno blondinko, pa ga blondinka vpraša:
"Saj menda ja nimaš aidsa?"
Pa pravi fant: "Seveda ne!"
Pa reče blondinka: "Uf, hvala bogu, res ga ne bi rada še enkrat dobila..."
Objavljeno: Če Avg 31, 2006 9:00 am
Alkohol
Učiteljica prinese v razred dve steklenici in glisto. V eni steklenici ima vodo, v drugi pa alkohol. Glisto vrže v steklenico z vodo in ta v njej veselo zaplava. Nato vrže glisto v steklenico s šnopsom, glista divje zamiga in crkne.
Nato učiteljica vpraša učence, kaj se lahko iz tega naučimo?
Janezek veselo odvrne: "Pijmo alkohol, pa ne bomo imeli glist."
Učiteljica prinese v razred dve steklenici in glisto. V eni steklenici ima vodo, v drugi pa alkohol. Glisto vrže v steklenico z vodo in ta v njej veselo zaplava. Nato vrže glisto v steklenico s šnopsom, glista divje zamiga in crkne.
Nato učiteljica vpraša učence, kaj se lahko iz tega naučimo?
Janezek veselo odvrne: "Pijmo alkohol, pa ne bomo imeli glist."
Objavljeno: Če Avg 31, 2006 9:01 am
ŽIVI PESEK
Neka ženska sredi džungle pade v živi pesek. Kliče na pomoč, ko mimo pride moški.
Ženska: "Prosim pomagajte mi!"
Moški: " Ja če mi ga pof**!"
Ženska: O, to pa že ne!"
Moški gre dalje, ona pa še bolj kliče na pomoč.
Ženska: " Gospod prosim vas pomagajte mi!!"
Moški: " Ja če mi ga pof**!"
Ženska: "O, to pa že ne!"
Gospod gre dalje, ženska se še bolj dere, saj je že do vratu v živem pesku, ko pride še nekdo.
Ona: "Lepo vas prosim, tudi pof** vam ga, samo potegnite me ven!"
On: " Marš kurba," in jo z nogo potisne v živi pesek.
Neka ženska sredi džungle pade v živi pesek. Kliče na pomoč, ko mimo pride moški.
Ženska: "Prosim pomagajte mi!"
Moški: " Ja če mi ga pof**!"
Ženska: O, to pa že ne!"
Moški gre dalje, ona pa še bolj kliče na pomoč.
Ženska: " Gospod prosim vas pomagajte mi!!"
Moški: " Ja če mi ga pof**!"
Ženska: "O, to pa že ne!"
Gospod gre dalje, ženska se še bolj dere, saj je že do vratu v živem pesku, ko pride še nekdo.
Ona: "Lepo vas prosim, tudi pof** vam ga, samo potegnite me ven!"
On: " Marš kurba," in jo z nogo potisne v živi pesek.
Objavljeno: Če Avg 31, 2006 9:02 am
Družinski
Brat poriva sestro...
Ona mu pravi: ti pa bolje porivaš kot oči...
Brat: Vem, mi je že mami rekla
Brat poriva sestro...
Ona mu pravi: ti pa bolje porivaš kot oči...
Brat: Vem, mi je že mami rekla
Objavljeno: Če Avg 31, 2006 9:45 am
Ej tile so bli pa že stari, ko je bil še naš Miran mlad!
Objavljeno: Če Avg 31, 2006 11:14 am
Vito_ napisal/-a:Ej tile so bli pa že stari, ko je bil še naš Miran mlad!
Se strinjam, da ni nobene unikatnosti, prebereš začetek, veš konec (sej Matej mi ne bo zameril):D
LP